More positive talk from Glamour

The buzz from Glamour magazine's photo of a "real" woman continues... The model herself as well as Glamour's Editor-in-Chief talk about their reactions and hopes for women on the Today Show:

Well said

Katha Pollitt writes on the inaccuracies and "house-dividing" consequences of the feminist wave labels. Right on, well-said, thank you for putting it out there!

To society at large, feminist in-fighting and blaming only serves to highlight women's demands as disorganized at best and hysterical at worst. As a relative young'un who has instinctively resisted the wave label (yes, Katha, I *don't* think pole-dancing is "empowering"), I'm finding many young women who, like me, are turning to collaboration and understanding as the way to change.

Women and Major Magazines Cover Stories Monitor

According to Beverly Wettenstein at the Huffington Post, "The year 2008 was considered to be transformational for women in politics and the broader perception of women in the media and society." Check out her article, Second Annual "Women and Major Magazines Cover Stories Monitor." What's your take on the coverage?

Working Mothers, Careers and Ambivalence: What Else is New?

I'm digging the post and comments on Working Mothers, Careers and Ambivalence: What Else is New? by Cynthia Samuels, at BlogHer...

Better late than never

I've also been meaning to post about SWAN Day, a new holiday celebrating women artists around the globe on March 28th of every year. Check out the amazing stories about how people celebrated, what projects women are working on, and the inspiring video of Sandra Oh interviewed about her favorite woman artist.

Female Force comic books

From Jill Zimon at WritesLikeSheTalks.com..."Female Force" comic books.

I have to say, I feel unsure what they're about. Is the idea that real women's lives are heroic? That any woman's story can end in success? Maybe it just irks me that when seen together, the fact that all "powerful" women are one step behind a man, becomes crystal clear. And that's certainly not the fault of the comic books, but just another reason why feminism still needs to be going strong. But then, my "media watchdog" kicks in and I start to wonder if creating comic book versions of real people turns them into fantasy characters where hardship and adversity don't exist or can't affect them. ...And now I sound like I want a comic book about "Joe the Plumber" (which would truly be propaganda). Sigh. I clearly need to mull this one over more with your help!

Obama Creates a White House Council on Women and Girls

Way to create something new, Obama! I'm curious to see how this will actually work. No matter what, the existence of a White House Council on Women and Girls is immense. And I like the fact that I randomly happened to be wearing my Obama shirt today when I got wind of this news. (Yeah, ok, so it's time to do laundry, but still.)

Interview with Liz Funk, author of Supergirls!

Liz Funk, author of the new book, Supergirls Speak Out: Inside the Crisis of Overachieving Girls, is on a virtual book tour--and a mission to widen everyone's tolerance and respect for being the imperfect, interesting, great people we all are.

In this interview with yours truly, Liz talks about how girls today feel they need to be perfect, gives insight into why trying to be perfect diminishes quality of life and relationships, and shares some tips on how to cherish being genuine. Enjoy!


JB: You’ve done a lot of research and interviewing for your book, Supergirls Speak Out, where you indicate that many girls and women today feel they have to be perfect, or “supergirls” who can do and be everything. Why do they have this feeling? What is particularly going on in our society that makes women feel so pressured?

LF: Girls today want to be a perfect 10. They want to excel at everything they attempt; in short, they’re perfect. Sadly, I think many young women get the message from the media, from their peer groups, and most notably, from themselves, that they have to be perfect if they want to be loved. It’s largely caused by sexism in society (especially in high schools and teen youth culture), the media, and our fast-pasted culture that doesn’t really encourage young people to spend much solitary time alone with their thoughts—they’re too busy blogging, and tweeting, and Facebooking!

JB: Is this an issue unique to the current female generation? Or, how does it tie in with past generations’ struggles for gender equality?

LF: The first draft of my book actually had a chapter about how the Supergirl dilemma is nothing new; it’s just the new century’s version of “the feminine mystique” that plagued women in the 1950’s! However, the tone of the chapter didn’t quite work, so I cut it (my initial major in college was women’s studies, so sometimes I have a tendency to write in a very academic way and bring up Friedan and Dworkin when it’s not the right place to do it. Haha…). Anyway, I think that what we are seeing here with the Supergirl dilemma is actually the exact same problem as “the feminine mystique” with symptoms that are the exact opposite. In the 1950’s; women were told that there was one way to be a woman—to be a loving homemaker mother who kept herself extremely busy with being pretty, having the latest swirling skirts and washing machine, and jetting off to PTA meetings and social committees, all in an effort to distract herself from the fact that society’s prescribed role for women was very limiting. Today, girls are told that there’s one way to be a girl: be a good daughter who keeps herself extremely busy with being pretty, having the latest season’s miniskirt and sweaters from American Eagle and the Gap, and keeping extremely busy with school and work and extracurricular activities, all in an effort to distract herself from the fact that society’s prescribed role for women is very limiting. There is the obvious difference that in the 1950’s, young women weren’t encouraged to be smart or intellectual or leaders, and today, young women are required to be intellectual and leaders, but at the end of the day, I would argue that the Supergirl dilemma is the second major crisis for young women since “the feminine mystique” that mostly arose because feminism’s work hasn’t been finished yet. We need to teach young women that it’s good to be a girl, and that they don’t need to feel confined to adhering to a very limiting female ideal in exchange for their community or their peer group’s approval.

JB: In your opinion, how does today’s media play into how women feel about themselves? What particular sources have what effects?

LF: I think the biggest problem in today’s media is that the women in the media look perfect. Female celebrities have never been thinner—Lindsay Lohan, Hilary Duff, Nicole Richie, etc. etc.—but also, we’ve never had celebrities all conforming to one limiting female ideal before: long hair, charming and giggly, and not particularly rebellious, like Kate Hudson, Anne Hathaway, and Jennifer Aniston (although I do love all three of these actresses). I don’t think that Angelina Jolie could have ever gotten famous today in her punk-rebel stage, because every female celebrity we see is well-groomed and nice and extroverted. Also, there are a lot of fictional Supergirls that influence how the girls at home feel about themselves: Elle Woods in Legally Blonde, the girls of Gossip Girl, and even Hannah Montana—although these are lovable characters, they give even the youngest girls the idea that beauty and success are simultaneous requirements and that you should make it look as though both come easily.

JB: What role do you feel women have in contributing to each other’s self-esteem or lack of confidence?

LF: Once young women observe perfect women in the media, they emulate having a perfect exterior, and then that model of perfection starts to take off in peer groups. I think that once one girl in a social circle—whether we’re talking in high school, in college, or among twentysomethings—starts to appear effortlessly perfect, her friends and her peers try to imitate that, and it snowballs from there.

JB: What are the consequences of trying to be perfect for individual women, their relationships, and even society or the world?

LF: Statistically, more young women than ever before are considering suicide, and I think it’s no coincidence that this is happening simultaneously with the rise of Supergirls. There are other mental health repercussions that I observed amongst girls, like anxiety, eating disorders, OCD, and depression. And I think the broadest problem is not having a sense of self; not having an identity outside of being a Supergirl or a hard worker.

JB: What are some tips you have for girls and women to positively feel they can be and do whatever they want, without feeling they must be perfect?

LF: First and foremost, girls should get some hobbies. Find things that you enjoy and that you feel passionate about that have nothing to do with work. For example, I just took up the oboe, I love to paint, I love to go to art museums, I love to read novels, and I love stupid movies (like Grandma’s Boy, Superbad, and Little Nicky). Make collages with pictures of random things that you find intriguing. Turn off the lights in your room and listen to music with your eyes closed. Meditate. Find your center! And the most revolutionary thing women can do is look in mirror and say aloud, “I love you. I appreciate you. You matter.” Say it enough, and I think the Supergirls will start to mean it, and see their Supergirl selves fading away.

Young women need to find their sense of intrinsic worth—why they matter regardless of what they look like, what other people think of them, how they make others feel, and what they’ve accomplished. Everyone has worth and everyone has value, and girls need to realize that when they are sitting on their couch in their jammies at 3pm on Saturday afternoon with their hair greasy and their nail polish chipping, they are just as special and just as important as when their hair is blown-dry and they are in a minidress and leggings out on the town for the night with a cute date! What I recommend is that young women spend as much time as possible embracing their creativity, developing their tastes and their personality, and finding themselves! Young women need to find their value, and I think the best way to do that is to be alone with one’s thoughts, spend time alone with oneself, and start to enjoy spending time alone and enjoy listening to one’s internal monologue.

JB: You mentioned that, under the pressure to be perfect, girls and women are oftentimes afraid to be themselves. What are some ways girls and women can feel comfortable exploring and being who they are?

LF: I absolutely love the movie Juno. Casting aside the movie’s puzzling treatment of abortion, I love the character Juno and how unafraid she was to be herself; she liked guitars and punk music and sarcasm and funky clothes. And I think that if more girls could embrace their inner-Juno, and be exactly who they want to be, regardless of whether it would affect how others see them or their place on the social totem pole, we’d be in great shape.

Supergirls on lizfunk.com
Supergirls on Amazon

Excessive Drinking is Apparently a Turn-Off to Guys

Brought to you by Australian Yahoo news: "Young women who think drinking to excess makes them more sexually attractive to men are mistaken, a new international study shows." Read on.

I love studies that show men are humane and have brains too. Gender equality both ways, folks.

And a quote from the article that seems relevant to much more than just who's drinking how much and for whom: " 'I don't want to portray that women are always out to do what men want ... but there is some confusion with equality being seen as having to act in the same way'." Concise and thought-provoking. In my opinion, feminism should not be about imitating men, but it can be an easy trap to fall into when there seems no other way to express female power.

Save Dora the Explorer from a Tween Makeover by Mattel!

I've just heard from Hardy Girls Healthy Women that Mattel plans to give Dora the Explorer a "tween" makeover--please sign this petition to help keep Dora as the adventuresome, independent role model that she's been!

Dear Friends,

We need your help to save Dora the Explorer from a 'tween makeover' by Mattel!

You know the original Dora - she is beloved by little girls and boys everywhere for her adventuresome spirit, curiosity, and bravery. But if Mattel and Nickelodeon have their way, Dora's getting a makeover. There are already too many dolls out there that limit the potential of girls. Find out more and sign our petition.

Thanks for your help!
Hardy Girls

Turn Beauty Inside Out!

I'm writing from Minneapolis, where the Turn Beauty Inside Out Leadership Retreat was held today. I was honored and lucky to lead a workshop with a group of 50+ awesome girls ranging in age from 10-17. As usual, what girls have to say continues to blow me away, and I am ever hopeful that since they are conscious of the need to get their voices out in the world (something the prior generation might not have been aware of, despite being told we could be anything we wanted to be), more and more positive change for girls and women will take place.

Together, we thought a lot about identity and how that feeds into our goals. Here are some thoughts from the girls!:

1. Identity is who we are and what we like
2. Identity is your "core" - it's important to hold onto that, since sometimes identity can be manipulated to make others like us more or less
3. Sometimes we feel pressure or expectations to be a certain person that isn't authentic
4. True identity can come out when we can express ourselves freely without feeling judged (like with good friends!)
5. Confidence comes from being touch with your real self
6. Adapting to situations is great; changing who you are to "fit in" hurts

And here are some traits that girls look for in leaders, and hope to lead the next generation with:
1. Courage
2. Self-confidence
3. Strength
4. Good listening
5. Out-spokenness
6. Uniqueness
7. Honesty
8. Focus
9. Cleverness
10. Power

Whoo! I vote for that...

We also talked about how many "leaders" (celebrities) today are simply noticed because they're sexy or appear a certain way - and acknowledged that those aren't really the things we wish the world revolved around.

I was truly touched to hear the girls' final thoughts about how meaningful the simple act of coming together today was. Finding commonalities amongst such a diverse group about how we all struggle to "be real" was very impactful. I love moments when girls and women can find each other and really see each other as allies rather than as competition, and today certainly seemed to be one of them.

And time spent watching girls create vision boards and positive self-messages with pom poms, glitter, and the like never fails to inspire me!

Pop Politics

In honor of all the awesome political discussion, analysis, and action that went into and will come out of the NCMR, I thought I'd post some political links. I'm really glad to have met some of the awesome political feminists behind these sources like Jenn Pozner, Shireen Mitchell, Samhita Mukhopadhyay and Deanna Zandt at the conference as well!

From Feministing:
Politics Made Sexy for Men
GOP Consultant: Sometimes it's "accurate" to call a woman a "bitch"

From AlterNet:
Anti-Feminist Backlash Out in Full Force

From the New York Times:
Judith Warner: Woman in Charge, Women Who Charge
[In a nation indifferent to the sexist attacks on Hillary Clinton, no wonder a film like "Sex and the City" is a hit.]

We of course still have much to do, but I do have a feeling of movement, and sharing information--spreading awareness--is the first step.

Nancy Gruver , founder and CEO of New Moon Girl Media, and I are back at the National Conference for Media Reform today! I'm feeling tired but excited by--as Bill Moyers just said in his keynote speech--being surrounded by "kindred spirits."

Moyers' speech was of course excellent. He handed us the challenge and the power to insist on free media, accompanied by the inspiration and feeling of community to continue to do so. His words even brought a tear to my eye.

After his speech, Nancy Gruver and I agreed on what a great speech it was. And then Nancy said, "But out of all those quotes, examples, stories, and anecdotes he mentioned, not one involved a woman." That fact had slipped right past me, the feminist that I am, because I was listening to the value of his words in my life and my work. And his words were incredibly valuable! But it's just worthy noting that yet again, female voices have been excluded from media, even at the Free Press conference for media *reform.* (There IS an awesome panel coming up today regarding how "there is no media reform without women" that I'm really looking forward to, and I hope they keep panels like this in the future and increase their number.)

I'm not criticizing Moyers for a personal oversight; his speech simply reflects the male-dominated history of media that continues up until today. When women's voices have been absent and silenced, their quotes and stories are much harder to find.

I'm really psyched that In Her Image and New Moon join tons of other awesome organizations that address this issue - What else do you think we can do to help girls' and women's voices matter? What actions are you taking that you want to share? We're all together on this, and I'd love to hear your comments and ideas!

Sexy Empowerment is a Tough One

I have to hand it to Christina Aguilera for promoting messages of female strength in many of her songs, where most popular entertainers don't. But at the same time, her career seems to depend on her sex appeal, which of course embodies the same old confusing message about female power as ever.

I discovered her video for Can't Hold Us Down the other day. To me, this video seems sadly to enact the double standards of gender that we navigate all the time, while attempting to speak out against them. (It also plays heavily on race and class issues as well: the way Aguilera sets herself in the dress, body movements, and neighborhood traditional to black rappers and singers who perform about their oppression, poverty, and so on is a whole other sticky identity politics blog post!...and interesting in light of something I just learned today: a Girl Scouts study about girls and leadership recently found that black and latina girls are more likely to imagine themselves speaking out as future leaders than caucasian girls. Hm. Help me with that one!)

The entire song is portrayed as the reaction to a man physically harassing Aguilera (in this case, grabbing her ass) on the street. The lyrics to "Can't Hold Us Down" are a global call to feminist community and to not staying silent in the face of oppression and abuse, which are messages I think we need to hear more often in commercial media outlets: "This is for my girls all around the world/Who've come across a man who don't respect your worth/Thinking all women should be seen, not heard/So what do we do girls?/Shout out loud!" She also gives context to why women often stay quiet when raped, molested, or abused, mentioning that, "If you look back in history/It's a common double standard of society/The guy gets all the glory the more he can score/While the girl can do the same and yet you call her a whore."

BUT. As she sings that no one "can, never will...hold us down," she struts around in runway sashay and slides her crotch on a hose spouting between her legs. (I'm quite sure I don't need to go into an explanation of the symbolism on that one!) During Li'l Kim's mid-song rap about the player/whore double standard, she does a hip-hop version of strip tease meets lap dance choreography. Later on, she gives a fierce look to camera while pushing up her boobs. So while these women sing about the power of speaking out and sisterhood--two aspects of feminism I'm all about!--they suggest through their visuals that these things come from sexual appeal and aggression.

The video and song itself pits men against women, excluding men from joining feminism through blame (which I think is ultimately hurtful to feminist goals--men need to care too or we'll never get anywhere!). And confusingly, while pointing an angry finger at men, the women's power and enjoyment in this video seem to come from making the men want them, and themselves being in a perpetual state of heat. The sexually charged dance-off (plenty of crotch-grabbing and eying-up amongst the break dancing and hip-hip moves) depicted between genders culminates in faux violent footage at the end of the video: women form a front to push the men back in a style reminiscent of riots, ironically tying violence back to empowerment and sex appeal.



And while I'm at it, I'll throw in my usual commentary on media and body confidence--Isn't it easier for us to hear this message from a thin, toned, made-up and digitally-retouched celebrity than women at home, work, or in our government!?

As usual, I feel conflicted. This is not a video I'd want a girl to watch, yet Christina is taking feminism mainstream, which is normally a difficult thing to do--but a thing that is necessary for widescale social change for women.

What do you think? Do videos like this aid or impede, crystallize or muddle a revolution? Is flaunting sexuality equal to true power? Should we be thankful for or disappointed in her voice amongst other pop stars'? Do videos like this damage or create respect for women? I'd love to hear.

Even Superheroes Can't Escape Body Norms

In Laurel Thatcher Ulrich's book, Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History, she writes that Wonder Woman was created by a man who thought the world needed a female hero and leader--that the strong and nurturing qualities of women were just what the world needed to make it a better place. I think it's really cool that a man created her with that ideal (we won't mention the disaster which apparently was his family life), but I still have my mixed feelings about what I call the "Kill Bill syndrome": the need for female heroines to be kick-ass and hot at the same time.

Fun with feminism picks up on this theme with their post, Even Superheroes Can't Escape Body Norms. Go check it out!

What do you think? Are female superheroes and comic book characters good role models for girls? Does it matter what they look like? Comment away!

Join the In Her Image Facebook group!

Help me join the 21st century (better late than never, right? ;) by joining my "In Her Image" group on Facebook! I've also got a "Julia Barry" profile and would love to link up there too. (And, if you're on LinkedIn, you can find me there too.)

Got other ideas for how I should reach out? Post 'em here!

Where Feminism Has Gone (Wrong): Why today’s definition of feminism is detrimental to our work

As media-makers, our messages ride on the dynamism inherent to media forms: the direct and emotional impact on people, the ability to reach a huge and diverse population, and possibly most important in today’s web 2.0 culture, the speed at which media can be shared.

Independent and Hollywood media-makers alike gear their work toward user participation, and those working for social change are generally excited by the “viral” nature of social sharing of media (even if one does lose control over one’s product in order to obtain mainstream involvement). Women working for social change have looked to film as a powerful media in which they can bring female voices and struggles forth (it is no wonder that most of feminist art was also video art). Today, with film’s expansion into mobile, shareable media, women especially use the internet as one big “indie TV channel” where their messages can be heard loud and clear, skipping over years of festival circuitry and involvement in the commercial film industry—a capitalistic field reliant on connections, near impossible to break into, and generally “an old boys’ club.”

However, as a female indie filmmaker/feminist activist, I have experienced sexism, aversion to “the f-word”—usually predicated on assumptions that feminists are either mean-spirited men-haters or naïve pot-smokers—and bureaucratic coldness like that found within the commercial film industry. And what upsets me most, is that the majority of these experiences have happened with other women. Why?

The openness of today’s indie media platforms also comes with an over-abundance of available media, so the freedom to post and share one’s voice does not mean it can be heard over the cacophony of everyone else doing the same. Being indie is still hard, and being an indie woman filmmaker is even harder. While the film industry can be a harsh world where individuals use other individuals for their own gain, unfortunately, these inhuman standards are alive and well in the indie world too, as we each strive to make “my project” the one that “makes a difference.”

Current feminist media heroes are women who can break into the film industry (Sophia Coppola was the first American woman to be nominated for an Academy Award for Directing (she didn’t win but got “Best Original Screenplay”) for Lost in Translation, Halle Berry was the first African-American woman to win “Best Actress”), women who start their own film companies that comes to be known and profitable, women who star on TV and in movies who contribute to charities and women’s causes, women who break “female” stereotypes and are funny, loud, smart, and so on (see Ms. Magazine’s recent article “Comic Relief”). These women are an outcome of 70’s feminist efforts, showing the world through Amazonian feats of persistence and assertiveness that yes, women are valuable members of society. But these women are also ostracized and scrutinized for wailing away at the norm. It takes “balls of steel” to withstand this cultural critique.

We owe thanks to the strength and competitiveness of these women, for girls today aspire to be everything from lawyers to Oscar-winning film producers. But with all this feminist effort came a backlash, which I feel we are experiencing now. Women said, “Wait! Why can’t I like lipstick and sports? Why can’t I be a mother and a CEO?” We want it all. And why shouldn’t we?

Unfortunately, “wanting it all” has transformed into a tacit social understanding that we must be and do it all (read Courtney E. Martin’s book, Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters: The Frightening New Normalcy of Hating Your Body, for more on this). We sift through today’s barrage of commercial images, our mother’s advice, and our own internal wishes and desires and conclude that we should be able to be and do all things, since after all, this is age of empowered women, right? We want to be pretty and smart. Powerful but not a bitch. Sexy but respected. Yet we find this a near impossible goal, and incredulously (and in some cases, jealously) wonder how on earth the women around us seem to be pulling this all off—making today’s “empowered” women experience and contribute to increased competition amongst women.

But women need to stop seeing each other as competition in the way of the powerful world of men. We need to stop believing that men hold all the power, and that “female” traits are not those that belong or contribute to power. We need to stop feeling that we must be perfect in order to deserve our power. Why aren’t “chick flicks” films that affect the public? Why is feminism the new f-word? Women need to recognize each other as sisters in the same fight–a fight that will go nowhere if we continue as individuals championing personal causes. It’s true that the personal is political. Our bodies are ourselves. The issues we care about at home are those we base our votes on. But in trying to liberate ourselves from the “female” roles and characteristics that suppress us (i.e. the all-forgiving, timid, nurturing mother/wife/family chef and maid), we have taken on the oppressive hard, cold, egocentric roles and qualities of maledom that we blamed for holding us down. In doing so, we have alienated ourselves from each other and even from our own selves.

Gaining the American signs of success (wealth and possessions) is an extremely individualistic process. This mindset of individualism as the road to power, as the path to getting one’s voice heard, even to the “female” goal of bettering the world (which requires power and getting one’s voice heard), leads to isolation and tremendous amounts of singular work and struggle.

Jack Lemmon used to say (according to Kevin Spacey) that those who get to the top must send the elevator back down. There are not enough women who are recognized as having power, this is true, but that does not mean we do not have power. Those women who are in recognized powerful roles need to be open to the queries and efforts of women “below” them, whose powerful efforts to change women’s lives (or even just change the world) are halted by other women who harbor the “I worked hard to get here so you will too” attitude. And women who are not in recognized positions of power need to look at other women as allies, not as competition to achieving their goals (or even snagging that cute someone at a bar).

The world needs to be told that not just anomalous loud, fierce women can “withstand” the responsibilities of bearing their own power. Or that loud, fierce women are not an anomaly. Or that women who are shy, who wear lipstick, work at night, teach kindergarten, have a power that is just as loud and fierce as any feminist lobbyist or protestor, and that women’s needs and rights are still not met on a global scale.

The world needs to hear the voices of many women banding together.

What do women want to achieve with indie media? Beauty? Humanity? Meaning? Social change? While we’re so busy combating the unrealistic, damaging portrayals of women on the screen, behind the scenes we’re treating each other with little respect and interest.

Many women (and men) believe that feminism is over, that because the Vice President of Google is a woman, gender equality has been reached—and that by harping on women’s rights, activists are actually hindering the chance for women to simply be treated as people. However, even from my own personal experience and the experiences of my friends, I say that feminism should not call victory so easily (watch Google’s Vice President, Sheryl Sandberg, talk about women’s lack of professional confidence and how we can utilize user-generated content). Half the population of this earth is female, yet by rejecting feminist group identity for individual "success," we have pushed our quests for respect, confidence, and legitimacy into private and internal realms, where they become impossible one-woman efforts.

Whether you’re a grip, CEO, or teen girl playing with a camera, we all need to keep the broader community in mind. The effects of your media will be greater with collaboration, since the combined efforts of women involved in many types of projects can change society. If our voices come together in media, if we cooperate on the social change work we are each currently attempting to do separately, society will be forced to respect and value us. First, we must respect and value each other.

Some groups of women I enjoy working with who value each other and each other’s work include the REAL Hot 100, New Moon Girl Media, and the Fund for Women Artists, which is currently helping women across the globe collaborate on projects for Support Women Artists Now Day March 29th! Please share your work with these organizations and others…Let’s get to work ladies!